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Born 1969 England. Arrived in Australia 1972. Single. No children. Partially disabled from severe osteoporosis, pituitary gland tumor (benign), myopathy and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hypermobile in every joint). 18 yrs caring for my quadriplegic cerebral palsy friend, Rob. Ceramic artist www.sam-davies.blogspot.com

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Hi, Dr. *******.
How much do you charge for a consult? I was hoping to hear from you. You seemed so eager to help my friend. If only to meet him and get an idea of the condition he is in. He did not have a thorough assessment while in hospital. Though it has been recorded that he did but was welcome to a second unbiased opinion which seenms we will not get. Rob is now bed ridden and has asked for a lethal injection. The doctors have left him with no hope. Just endless despair that I share with him. He turns 40 soon with nothing to look forward to except more years of preventable suffering. Please see him. He keeps asking for me to kill him and after 19 years of him asking this of me I am just so crushed. Please, who, if not you, can you suggest?
Sam Davies.

The above is a message Sam sent to a surgeon today. Not sure why he is bothering anymore. It seems quite clear the few powerful doctors who want to see me institutionalised, where I will end up dying, have won. One of my GP's warned us that if we tried to seek help the medical machine would crush us. The ones who want to help have no voice. No say. There is no Hippocratic Oath. If so, where is it. Definitely not considered valid for the likes of someone like myself. Yeap, a severelly handicapped cerebral palsied individual who could have a life.

I turn 40 soon with nothing to look forward to. Stuck in bed. And now the worsening twist in my hip due to contractures in my legs prevents me sitting more than a couple of hours in my wheelchair. If I take the medications to relex me a little I start to druel and my penis shrinks so much my urodomes do not fit properly. Having little choice Sam taped the last urodome on more than usual and now I've a sore on it. So have to wear bloody nappies for a couple of days. Thanks to the doctors that have signed, it seems, my death warrent for saying that removing my legs would course me more harm than good and would be of no benefit. How dare any of you who have not spent one day providing me with my physical care, let alone getting to know me, have the power to do this. The power to continue to ruin my life and that of those who want to care for me but are finding it harder and harder due to my bloody useless legs!!! Again, how dare you. And how dare you intimidate those who do want to help me.

I'm finishing now. I am just so lost for words to express my despair and pain. Until tomorrow, take care all.

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